I returned home yesterday to find the air filled with Coldplay. Their mild-mannered music bounded around the hills of Crystal Palace like an echo in the Swiss Alps and, no matter what you did it was impossible to avoid it.
I noticed my courgettes and tomatoes had buckled a little under the strain - Mozart it clearly ain't – and after another round of earbashing tonight, I'm wondering if my peas might also take offence too.
So when people say Coldplay are totally inoffensive, they're wrong. Plants hate them (although it might simply have been the exceedingly hot day...).